In the newsroom, we live for the “exclusive.” We want the story that no one else has. But in our personal lives, we’ve done the opposite: we’ve turned our private world into a public utility. We “broadcast” our coffee, our workouts, and our vulnerabilities in real-time.
As an editor, I can tell you the dirty secret of the media: Exposure is a depreciating asset. The more you share, the less you are worth. Here is why you should start “redacting” your life.
1. The “Observer Effect”
In physics, the act of observing a particle changes its behavior. The same happens to your life. The moment you decide to photograph a sunset for your followers, you stop experiencing the sunset and start experiencing the reception of the sunset. You are no longer the protagonist of your life; you are the cameraman.
The Editorial Insight: The most beautiful moments are “un-skimmable.” If you can’t describe it in a caption, it’s probably working.
2. The Power of the “Hidden Project”
In the creative world, we talk about “The Incubation Period.” It’s the time when an idea is too fragile to be seen. If you announce your “big new project” too early, you get a rush of dopamine from the “likes,” which tricks your brain into thinking you’ve already accomplished the goal. The result? You lose the hunger to actually finish it.
The Rule: Keep your best ideas in the “darkroom” until they are fully developed. Silence is the best fertilizer for ambition.
3. Protection vs. Connection
We are told that “vulnerability” is the key to connection. And it is. But there is a massive difference between intimacy and over-sharing. Intimacy is sharing your soul with someone who has earned the right to hear it. Over-sharing is shouting your trauma into a digital void for strangers.
The Strategy: Treat your personal stories like a high-end publication. Not everyone gets a subscription.
4. Reclaiming Your “Interiority”
The most interesting people I’ve interviewed have a “secret garden”—a hobby, a belief, or a collection that they tell no one about. This creates a sense of “Interiority.” It makes you a deep well rather than a shallow puddle. When you don’t give everything away, you maintain a sense of mystery and, more importantly, a sense of self-possession.
